Looking before you leap.

I'm feeling much better today. The sun is out and I feel at-ease. I feel at-ease with myself and the situation at hand. Communication is such a necessity yet it is something that is not done very well nor is it done often enough.
     In the summer when the sun is shining and the hot breeze blasts your face with no remorse you look for a way out. You look for the nearest lake with the biggest cliff. You find the perfect place to jump, yet you don't know what's lurking around under the water in which is calling, better yet screaming your name.  You close your eyes and you jump. Depending on the day you may scream or shout something on the way down. You may feel scared, excited or maybe today is the day you feel nothing at all. You're free.
   As your mid-air you think of nothing but the feeling of  cool water as it hits your face, consuming your whole body. As soon as you hit the water you have been given many choices.
1.) You hit the water so hard it hurts because you didn't position yourself correctly.
2.) You hit the water face first and feel refreshed only to be surprised to wake up in a hospital because you almost broke your neck on a sunken tree.
3.) You hit the water and you're still free and you have no care in the world.

This pretty much, is life. The cliff is where you are in your being. The choice to jump is your decision. The water is your refuge and the sunken tree is chance. You never know exactly how tall your cliff is, how you're going to jump and what in the hell is going to get in your way "of life". So, don't ever be so scared of what is thrown at you. You are here for a reason, a reason unknown. Take in the good, the necessities and rid yourself of the excess, the evil.

Life is good.

-Ashley Nichole
 

Just one of those... days.

So I understand that girls can be moody, and yes, I don't always think that's a feasible excuse for everything. BUT if and when I need a little power boost a.k.a. someone to talk to, someone that can help me rationalize these irrational thoughts that are flowing through my mind, god knows not to even think about asking a guy for help. They don't get it, I understand but COME ON. Dad IS always right.... The only person you can rely on is yourself. That's just a horrible feeling, having no one but yourself. How do I make these irrational thoughts rational? And screw the person who took my spot in the class I needed.

"Learn to walk away from things that are already dead."

I wish grandma were here. She'd understand, she'd talk me though it. I just need to know I'm okay, that I'm going to make it. I just want to reach my highest potential. If that can't be reached what's the point?


-Ashley Nichole