Wednesday, April 28, 2010

No Back Burners For THIS Lady...

For the first time, I have no plans.... Except for school.
For the first time, I care about only me.... and the exception of friends and family.
I'm so free. I don't have any lost dogs chasing me around nor am I wasting my time.
There's no one I want to be with right now, except for him. And I haven't even met him yet and I won't be ready for some time even if he came into my life tonight. There are tons of people I've met, TONS. I place different people in different places. Some are kept close and some are kept even further away.

I went to Barnes & Noble the other night and went semi-crazy. Some awesome books and mags for my enjoyment. My little secret indulgence is this book about Alice in Wonderland and all of the hidden meanings and thoughts behind it all. AUHHHMAZING. And a few more about life and what not.

I have cranked out 70 hours of clinicals this week. I AM SO TIRED. And yet I'm not sleeping and I'm never home. And as weird as it may sound I'm pretty sure that's where I get my energy from.

I'll write more tomorrow. I need to drive 30+ mins to get home. BAhhhhhhhh.

-Ashley Nichole

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Friday, April 16, 2010

Cheese and Crackers.

    Last night was amazing! Another unexpected great time. Fashion show for Hemline, hair slicked back in a bun, bright red lips, cat eyes with uber luscious lashes,  best friends front row, yet another photo booth, awesome!
     After the show I met up with my friend Scott Johnson. He'll appreciate that. Hanging out on the patio of J.P. Wine bar drinking my delicious bellini talking about life. He informs me that some people are going to come meet up. Cool. Up walks Whiteshadow and the guys from Chester French, their KC manager and Shaun. We end up playing "a game" where everyone goes around the table saying nice things about each other. It was amazing. Not only when you meet people they're strangers and for the majority of the time it turns into some competition or something of that nature, it wasn't like that at all. Paul, D.A. and Max are some of the coolest guys I've met. We went to Mosaic and we all danced around. Ended up having one of those life talks with Max. So intelligent. So talented. We waltzed. Hahaha. And you know the coolest thing about this whole experience? I was never once treated like a piece of meat. Not one time. I was Ashley Nichole, they respected me and who I was as a human.

Needless to say my $35.00 cab ride with my idiotic cab driver, was worth it. It was worth not getting home until 6:45 in the am while the sun was rising. I love my life. I really do. I can honestly say I've never been more self fulfilled and happy before in my life. I am a lucky girl. I was blessed with a gift not many people have. I am grateful. This kinetic energy that I hold within myself is... is unreal. I wish I could share it with the world. I can do anything. I can talk to anyone. There is nothing that holds me back but myself. My possibilities are endless. And you know the world may be full of shitty people and it may not be what I expected but I can make my life beautiful. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. All of my set backs did not set me back by any means, they've enriched my life. They've helped shape me to become the person I am. 110% of pure, true, me.

This cheese is stuck to my paper plate and I'm having to scrape it off with my cracker... damn weather.
-Ashley Nichole

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

And THEN... And no and THEN!

"He's stealing salt skin, telling me I'm winning wars they created just to understand... "the meaning of"."
I keep having these nightmares. So I went back and listened to this song... Hope it helps.

"For all of the times that I lost my head,
When it rolled to the floor and I found it again.
But when it came back,
I didn't even know your name."

I just love this whole album.

-Ashley Nichole

Sunday, April 11, 2010

What'cha gonna do when I cross that line, when we run outt'a time?

"OOOOoooopppsss." Great remix by Breakbot of "When We Were Young".

So my life has been NON-stop. Crazy busy.
Started my guitar lessons. Went and saw Miike Snow last Thursday which was one of the best shows I've seen. Great show, great company all in all just an amazing time. School and clinicals. Working on my house, I mean the whole nine yards.

So the Peace Corps paperwork is still in my hands.... but today I found these study tours. They're going to India in November for 11 days and then Vietnam/Cambodia in December for 10 days. How cool would that be if I could spend my 25th birthday in a different country helping out! Awesome.

I love this weather so much. When the sun goes down, I run around and the ground is still warm on my bare feet. My sparkling pink toes dig themselfs in the dirt and I can feel the breeze in my hair. It's the little things that I love the most.

It may be the little things I love the most but damn you Urban Outfitters and your home decore section. I want everything there for my house. Which I've decided is going to be very "me". Lots of colors and artistic pieces. I'm excited. I'm so thankful that Chyleina and Cory came over and helped me the other night. She brought me all sorts of goodies. Light fixtures, brushes, you name it and it was in the care package. Blessed for these amazing people in my life.... And it's people like this that make the world go round.

Also, I'm very thankful for Scott who came in and swooped me up when he did. He really stepped up the other night when I needed him the most. (And he gave me his new mixtape. He is very talented.) We may not be the most compatible people hahaha, but there's one thing we've always, always believed in and that would be each other. He's my friend, I will push him. He knows.

And you know what? My spelling is just down right horrible. Dear English class, I'll be seeing you soon.

Love it all, for everything and everyone is worth loving. (Unless they really dicked you over and then they can just go suck it.)

-Ashley Nichole

Don't forget THIS THURSDAY is the La Femme Fashion show! Get your tickets @! See you there, show starts at 8:00 pm at the Madrid Theatre with Chester French.
Get exxxcited!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Knife, fork and a spoon.

Pretty much sums up the 3 of us. I'd say I'm the spoon. Chy, well she's the knife and Bert is the fork.
Tonight was fun. We dyed eggs and danced around. We went to the lake and "saw the stars", more or less went about 50 mph on the dammmm while Chy was screaming "WARP SPEED!!! WAARRRPPPP SPEEEEDD." And I'm peeing my pants in the backseat choking on my straw from Sonic. And boy am I sleepy right now....

Today as I was painting on the good 'ol house I thought about a lot. I mean that's just what I do when I deem necessary. And I though... Nothing is guaranteed, nothing but death. And for some people that may be just too much to think about. Don't get me wrong I don't want that any time soon, but isn't that just a hard pill to swallow? You don't know what is around the corner. You never know what is going to happen in your life.

Life is such a funny thing.

Oh and this... For the past.. ummm, I don't know; forever I've always been in relationships where I think I can help the person. It could be they need guidance, they need to get away from their ex or they are mentally nuts. Something. Something always draws me into people who I feel need me. And I know I keep saying that I'm going to break this cycle but I honestly mean it. I'm honestly going to be selfish. (Besides my family and my REAL friends.) I need to work on getting my life how I want it. I need to be able to only rely on myself, because I'm the only one going to be there in the end. And you know what? If I end up with myself I couldn't be more happy. I am an amazing person. I need no one to define me because quite frankly I am a hard one to define.

So today I get this phone call from a 646 area code. It was odd. Went something like this....
"Is this Ashley?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"This is Robert. I think I have the wrong Ashley."
Um, okay sir. How did you know my name and where the hell did you get my number?
Maybe he's the one that calls from the unknown number everyday..everyday I get a phone call from an unknown number. I know I don't owe the creditors any money so I know It can't be them. And luckily I have super blocker on my phone and can block those things and anyone else on my shit list. Humm.

Tomorrow I'll do more painting on the house. (Maybe Brittaniee will help me?!?!)  Maybe go to First Friday. Maybe not considering Saturday I'll have to spend my whole day downtown running around for this fashion show. (I'm going to eat so many cupcakes and drink so much boba tea while I'm there. Ahhh, I can feel myself getting type 2 diabetes as we speak..... Gross. I'm staying away from sugar!)

Still have yet to return the redbox. Piss Posh.

I'm in love....

With myself.
-Ashley Nichole