Saturday, March 27, 2010

Plan B, and no we're not talking about birth control....

Dear 2010,
   You have been an eye opener. Thank you, thank you for making me stronger and teaching me more about myself than I ever could. Thank you for showing me the people who really matter the most; the people that are really there and who really care. I thank you for I guess, letting me hit rock bottom. Thank you for letting all of this happen now so I can have a better future. Thank you for my independence and my strength to be whatever I choose and make decisions that will better ME.

-Ashley Nichole

    There is only one word to decribe how I feel right now: and that word would be...
Okay, I lied. There's not just one word that can express me right now. All I know is that I, Ashley Nichole am a very strong, independent, determinded woman and anyone or anything in my way of being or getting what I want in the future will crumble. Period. End of story. So please, let's not waste anymore of my time thinking about what could have been or what I even thought about the future. I don't "need" anyone. I don't need a manipulative (excuse my french) piece of shit controlling my life. I am able and purely capable of my own life. Hence why some people are no longer in it...
    It seems that when the marshmellows hit the fan, I have a friend who can clean the blades off and make everything actually better than what it was. To know that I have people who look up to me and see the things in myself that I at the time can't even fathom is, is like a breath of fresh air after suffocating on fables, lies, decepiton. You know, all that good stuff. So, needless to say I am changing my outlook on life. It's easy to look at the bad, the "talked about future" that didn't happen but that's the easy way out and I am not scared of taking chances and looking on the bright side.

    I will get this house finished, I know it won't be tomorrow and I know it's not what I want forever but it will be mine. It will be MY nest. It will be my refuge from the world.

So, bring on the wine nights with my best friends because I'm about to have the time of my life....
And live happily ever after.

-Ashley Nichole