Sunday, October 26, 2008

There' s no such thing as fairy tales, I know first hand.

There once was a girl who lost her way. She was out all the time just getting wasted, didn't really care where her life was going. She worked at a bar to pay her bills, cleaning up all the drinks that the drunks spilled. She met a boy who took her out of that scene or as though it seemed. Everything was great, she didn't have a care in the world. School didn't matter nor did work. She had him and that's all that mattered. Days turned into months and as months turned into years she started to see that this life wasn't going in the direction that she wanted. She started to turn her life around working her ass off and went back to school. She knew what she wanted, she knew what she had to do she just didn't have the courage to end it, she didn't know what to do. "Love is all that matters, that's all you need. If we have that we can make it through anything." He told her. He told her never to worry that she was the only one, but that wasn't enough she couldn't get it through her little head. She knew what he told her was true, but for some reason she couldn't get out of this funk, she couldn't stop feeling so blue. So one night when she was super sad and couldn't take it anymore she knew that last night was the last time she'd walk through his door. She couldn't take him getting wasted every weekend. She couldn't get over his past with drugs and always thought he'd go back to that.
So this little girl that was starting to become a young lady did what she had to do, call it shady. Everyone could see it, everyone knew, everybody but those two.
She didn't know where her life would go after they split, but she was doing something she knew was legit. She still loved him and wished she could be there for him when he did great things, because she knew he would. She just couldn't live how she was. It wasn't for her, it was for someone who could love him better. For someone less bratty.
For the girl who wants to take my place I wish you the best of luck, it's not all that easy. You have some pretty big shoes to fill.


It's over. The scary thing about that, when you still love someone it makes it that much harder. It makes it that much harder to know that the person is going to hate you now because of the decision you had to make. Something inside was eating away at me. As much as I tried to be happy, it wasn't there. Love can only take you so far before other things have to kick in and play other important parts.

All I know is that I have a lot on my plate and now is not the time to get down and out. So as we all know I won't be at Mosaic. If you want to find me I'll be in my room, in the library or at school with my nose stuck in a book. Pretty sure that it's not a bad thing, I'm making good changes for my life. Call me what you want because your not going to break me. It's only time holding me back from being something great now. As soon as this first part of school is over I'm planning on traveling. I want to get out of the mid-west. Move somewhere that's warm for the majority of the time. My little body hates the cold.

I'm going to the store today. I need to get back into cooking. I absolutely have to stay healthy for my job, for school and for my own sanity. I hate being sick, almost as much as I hate being unhappy.

I'm going to keep my head up and know that I have friends and family to support me in all that I do. Know this is as hard for me as it is for you.

The End.

2 comments:

Spinstyles said...

you never give up on things you truly love...

Britters said...

I love you!! Call me when you need me! Xoxo Miss Priss :)